And so the adventure begins…
Something that I have been processing during our preparation time for this adventure was how I found myself falling back into a mentality I had 16 years ago when I first went to Mexico. It’s hard for me to process that it was that long ago that I went. After my first trip there I did some shopping and got a bunch of appropriate clothing for the environment, ministry and culture.
We came here to Uganda for a tester trip of six weeks and I quickly realized I had to go back to that person I was 16 years ago…long long shorts, skirts past the knee so that when you sit down its still covering the knee…
Layered tops because sweating is inevitable and when you hand wash everything you don’t want to change your clothes three to four times a day…
Cold showers, lack of electricity and cell service…all par for the course.
I still remember when we had teams come to us in Monterrey we usually got stuck with military showers…wet, turn off, soap up, rinse, turn off, get out and start sweating lol Thankfully it doesn’t get that HOT here, but the humidity is still a little much for me. It bothers Robinson’s eczema something fierce. So its a constant battle to make sure his ridiculously fast growing nails are as short as possible so he stops scratching his skin off…not going to lie, that is one of the hardest things as a parent to watch your child scratch themselves non stop until they bleed.
But I digress…
I decided to journal today as I am still adjusting to the time difference and battling some weird bug that I got right before coming that has intensified since arriving.
I opened my journal to Robinson to write him a little love note for when he is older, and for whatever reason in that journal I found a letter from one of my dearest friends from my time in Monterrey.
I broke down crying even though the note told me not to haha It was the reminder that I needed to be able to refocus my energy and spirit on what I need to be doing.
You are so gifted, so talented, so beautiful, so attractive, so fun, with the smile that lights a room, with a crazy passion, that I envy, to know God, you speak truth, you are open to learn and receive from others…the list goes on and on!! Tina YOU ARE REAL!!! Be Strong hold your head up high, don’t be an emotional basket case, take it to God, but be the example. I believe in you T, you are the life and the future of that place! LIVE LIKE IT!
I love you girl, more than I like to admit and more than I can express, DO YO THANG! Hollar”
This note was written 14 years ago back in 2006. And let me tell you the words still hit me like they were written today. The sentiment is still received and the challenge to do and be better is still there. I know that often I don’t turn to God when I should. And when one of your dearest friends, someone you admire, tells you something so profound you tend to want to do something about it.
We only had boots in country for 2 days and I already misplaced my house key. Today (day 3) as I set out on a mission to find it (I had already looked everywhere yesterday to no avail) I finally said a quick help me prayer. “Lord I know you can help me do this, please show me where the key is cause I am stressing too much over this”. After I said that prayer I kept going back to this one shelf where I was like ‘ok it’s not here I have looked like 5 times”…but for whatever reason I felt like taking things off the top shelf to look behind them…and sure enough there was the key. All shiny and ready to be put in a safe place.
Once I turn my focus on Him, I find peace, direction, understanding and love. It was the reminder that I needed today. Nothing in my time all in His time. People keep asking what is going to happen and I have to go back to that mentality that I don’t know. Every time I set parameters on my life God shows me he has his own plans for me, so its time I just give up on mine and make way for His. Like with the key, I can have great ideas like “oh this high shelf will be great for the key so the kids don’t get to it”. But that doesn’t meant that it was the right place for them lol (i have a place for them now)
He is my way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper and light in the darkness. (Way Maker - Sinach)
That is who He is, and that is who I have to let take control of every situation no matter how small…from a misplaced house key to my financial ability to continue doing His work.
Even when I don’t see it you’re working
Even when I don’t feel it you’re working
You never stop you never stop working
You never stop you never stop working
‘That is who He is and that is who I am giving up everything for, abandoning my plans, my ideas and my goals to make way for His to shine through.
His name is above depression, His name is above loneliness, His name is above disease, His name is above everything.’
Honestly if you haven’t heard the song “Way Maker” by Sinach you need to…I personally love the live version done by Leland (where I got the quotes above) This song is me right now. Finding ways to live out HIS ways not mine…
*Healing* Both Robinson and myself had colds before coming, mine symptoms turned flu like just without the temperature. Thankfully I brought tons of medication with as well as essential oils but adjusting to an 11 hour time difference with a nasty cold is really exhausting.
*Financial Revival* I am not good at asking people for money. But I realize this job God has called me to do is bigger than Robinson and I, and therefore I need to start asking people to partner with us in this adventure. I have been self founded so far and will soon run completely out of money. That's not something I was willing to admit to people. I have been struggling with pride in this matter for a while and I am learning to let go of my human fears and concerns and turning my eyes and direction on Him!
*Connection* I have made some really amazing friends so far, but one thing I haven’t made is a good girl friend. I didn’t realize how hard that would be. Most of the women in my life here are much older, and honestly just too busy to be able to have free time. They work extremely hard caring for the kids of their houses. Most of the moms have 10 kids in the house. The younger women that teach at the school don’t live in the village so outside of school hours I don’t really see them. I have made some great guy friends…but lezbihonest girl friends are priceless ;)